leptraps
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Posts: 2,397
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Post by leptraps on Feb 14, 2019 20:47:20 GMT -8
From time to time I have been known to do some very foolish things, like go to Wal-Mart.
I was up and at it on Saturday morning and I foolishly believed I would get there before some of the shining stars of Scott County, Kentucky arrived to provide some great entertainment.
I should have stayed at home.
I arrived at 7AM. The parking lot was full. I should have turned around and went home. Foolishly I entered into the store, the world best location to witness some of the most unexplained mysteries of the universe.
I went straight to the Office Supply section and picked up two three ring binder and over to groceries for some 100% Whelchs Grape Juice.
When I got to the checkout area I picked out the shortest line. There were two rather hefty porkers in front of me. The one behind the buggy (Buggy, the word used in Kentucky to describe a shopping cart!) was an exceptionally large plump (The correct word is Fat) woman. She was wearing some stretch pants that defied the laws of physics. The fit was challenging the laws of gravity. What ever the material these pants were made of must have being created by NASA. And it showed a little "crack"......
The two of them began to discuss getting a tattoo and the chunky porker behind the buggy wanted something simple. Something jumped into my mind and immediately out of my mouth it came: WIDE LOAD.
After the ruckus subsided and store security intervened, I was taken to another cash register, checkout and escorted out of the store. The security guy was having a hard time not laughing. Once outside of the store I was told not to comeback.........again.
And no, there were no skid marks.
(If you do not find this funny, I am asking Oliver to remove you from Insectnet. And yes, this is a true story.)And if Ms Betty were alive, she would still be chewing on my butt, and laughing hers off.)
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Post by exoticimports on Feb 15, 2019 4:24:50 GMT -8
immediately out of my mouth it came: WIDE LOAD. After the ruckus subsided and store security intervened, I was taken to another cash register, checkout and escorted out of the store. The security guy was having a hard time not laughing. Once outside of the store I was told not to comeback.........again. Oh no. Leroy, you got banned from WalMart? That's like the end of the world. |
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Post by eurytides on Feb 15, 2019 5:19:34 GMT -8
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leptraps
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Post by leptraps on Feb 15, 2019 5:37:35 GMT -8
Did you not notice the last word, "Again". I have been banned so many times I have lost count. All of my neumorous banning's have been for similar activities.
I hate going to Wal-Mart. Interaction with both staff and DA shoppers have resulted in most of my banning's.
Banning from Wal-Mart is like receiving the Medal of Honor.
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Post by eurytides on Feb 15, 2019 5:45:21 GMT -8
You should take some photos and post them here for all to enjoy.
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Post by exoticimports on Feb 15, 2019 6:28:22 GMT -8
Did you not notice the last word, "Again". I have been banned so many times I have lost count. All of my neumorous banning's have been for similar activities. I hate going to Wal-Mart. Interaction with both staff and DA shoppers have resulted in most of my banning's. Banning from Wal-Mart is like receiving the Medal of Honor. Be careful, Walmart is agressive about having arrested those that have been banned. |
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leptraps
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Post by leptraps on Feb 15, 2019 6:30:32 GMT -8
I did not have time nor did I have my wide angle lens.
If somebody would have told her to go haul ass, it would have taken a couple of trips.
I do know when to STFU.....
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Post by bugboys3 on Feb 15, 2019 9:00:15 GMT -8
You are so bad!
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Post by exoticimports on Feb 15, 2019 12:37:35 GMT -8
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Post by 58chevy on Feb 15, 2019 12:57:41 GMT -8
Your funniest story yet, Leroy. Keep up the entertainment!
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Post by phanaeus1 on Feb 15, 2019 14:28:05 GMT -8
Sir,The correct definition(politically)is not "plump or fat" but "abundantly adipose!"No Wonder you were removed from Walmart!
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Post by beetlehorn on Feb 16, 2019 3:42:38 GMT -8
I'll bet you got your share of butt-whippings when you were a kid. You are right though....Walmart does provide some great entertainment. A good friend of mine and I were standing in line at our local Wally-world when he noticed a rather huge one wearing some kind of spandex pants. The material looked like it was screaming for help, but that wasn't the worst of it......at the upper part of her thigh was a hole in the material where the fat poked through. Upon seeing this my friend nudged me and said -"don't that look like a mushroom growing out of her leg"?!?
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leptraps
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Posts: 2,397
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Post by leptraps on Feb 16, 2019 3:57:42 GMT -8
Sir,The correct definition(politically)is not "plump or fat" but "abundantly adipose!"No Wonder you were removed from Walmart! I am not nor have I ever been politically correct. Fat Ass works better for me! Especially with Wal-Mart hussies. |
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Post by LEPMAN on Feb 16, 2019 8:03:58 GMT -8
Hilarious story! Looking forward to the next one!
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Post by phanaeus1 on Feb 16, 2019 17:38:41 GMT -8
Sir,The correct definition(politically)is not "plump or fat" but "abundantly adipose!"No Wonder you were removed from Walmart! I am not nor have I ever been politically correct. Fat Ass works better for me! Especially with Wal-Mart hussies. |
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